I was listening to a therapist recently who said something like this and it really hit my brain pretty hard.
I'm 44 years old and my childhood was fairly rough, not brutal or anything, but not very good. Most of my time I spent withdrawn in my room, trying to avoid interaction with anyone. I learned I was not going to get anything I wanted or needed, so the next best thing is to just make yourself invisible.
When I think about it, I notice how this plays out in my adult life and relationships. I'm not affectionate, I don't say much, I like a lot of quiet time, I spend a lot of time in my thoughts.
As a child, I wanted affection but never got it, as an adult, I am repeating that same pattern to the people that actually love me and want to show me affection. Creating the same situation that I hated to live in as a child!
Even though I'm kinda old, I'm certainly not too old to make changes to these things. Its easier to change when you can see it in the frame of your own suffering, I suppose.
Just curious how many other people relate to that?