I’m honestly feeling really lost and I need outside opinions.
I’ve been seeing this guy exclusively for about 5 months now. We act like a couple in every possible way. We spend a lot of time together, we’re emotionally close, physically close, we care about each other, we talk every day, and there’s genuinely almost no difference between us and a normal couple.
The only thing missing is the actual title.
When we first started talking, the situation made more sense. At the time, I was planning to leave the country in a few months, so we both kind of agreed to keep things exclusive but not fully define it as a relationship.
We also both knew that once I leave, things would most likely end because neither of us wants a long-distance relationship. I tried long distance once before and it honestly made me miserable, so I never wanted to go through that again.
Another important detail is that his last and only relationship was years ago, and after it ended, he basically decided he wouldn’t get into another relationship unless it was meant to lead all the way to marriage. In his mind, a relationship shouldn’t just end one day — it should continue toward marriage.
So I understand why he may hesitate to officially label this as a relationship knowing that eventually I’ll leave the country.
At the time, I understood the situation and I was okay with it short term.
But now my plans changed, and I’m staying much longer than expected. Suddenly this whole situationship setup doesn’t feel comfortable to me anymore.
I’ve always been someone who dates seriously. I’ve never really done casual or undefined relationships before, so even though I agreed to it at first, I’m starting to realize it affects me more than I expected emotionally.
Honestly, being in a situationship was already a huge exception for me. I stepped out of my comfort zone and accepted something uncertain because I cared about him and wanted to make the situation work despite the circumstances.
What confuses me even more is that when he talks about me to other people, he refers to me like I’m already his girlfriend… even though technically I’m not.
Lately I’ve even started thinking about giving him some kind of ultimatum, not in a manipulative way, but more because part of me feels like if I was willing to make an exception and adapt for him, maybe it’s reasonable to hope he’d do the same for me if he truly cares about me.
At the same time, I don’t want to make him feel pressured or trapped, which is why I feel so conflicted.
For people who have been in similar situations, what would you do in my place? And are there any strong arguments or perspectives I could bring up during a conversation with him about this?