So. I unfortunately have Autism and ADHD (I'm 19). I used to have friends when I was younger, like 9 years old, but each new school year, I'd have less and less friends, and I wouldn't notice until high school, because I HAD none.
I'm not anyone creepy, maybe a little ugly but I'm harmless. I've never gotten into a fight my entire life, only got suspended once (and it wasn't in high school), I'm nice to everyone, even went out of my way to buy snacks for the class, but still… no one has been interested in me as a person.
Now, I don't really have the same interests as everyone else in school did (I've never used TikTok/Instagram/Snapchat/Facebook), and I'm not into sports, but still I think I'm approachable. I always ate alone at lunch (or a friend group would come sit at the empty table surrounding me, but not interacting with me or seeming bothered I was at the table I was at FIRST).
Fast forward to graduation, I was like the only one who had absolutely no one to talk to, except my family, but they don't really understand me, and of course it's not the same as having actual friends.
After graduation, I was applied to a sort of mini-college, where I spend 4 months on campus learning a pathway, and it was fun. I had attended twice for a total of months, and I was a lot more outgoing there. I frequently bought snacks for everyone at movie nights, tried to help my classmates when I could, even try to include myself in conversations.
Despite all of this, no one's ever been interested me, only talking to me when they need to. I was never bullied, but… compared to all of my online friends, they *all* have at least 1 irl friend they have, meanwhile I have literally no one.
(Oh right, I wasn't the weird, obnoxious kid that was immature and stuff)
I probably worded all of this terribly because of course I did but I think you get the gist of it. I've tried being myself, I've tried putting myself out there and stepping out my comfort zone, but it seems like I'm just a lost cause, no one my age lives around my area either so, am I cooked?