I am fundamentally unlikeable. I've listened to dozens of self help and life after divorce books and yet none of it can help me. Due to being fundamentally unlikeable.
Yes people like me in the beginning. I'm kind thoughtful responsible. I follow the rules. I'm not a drug addict or mean or violent. I do what I'm told and I don't give people grief for not doing things my way.
But then time goes by. And one day I say something. It could be about anything. It could be something completely innocuous. Something you'd never even think about being a problem. But then suddenly thier gone, or I'm fired or shunned or ghosted. I never find out what it was I said or did so I never learn to be any better. And this pattern repeats its self. Over and over and over again for 43 years.
I watch people in my life and in true stories get divorced or have a major life change and have to start all over again and they flourish. They move to new towns. They make new friends, they get new jobs and get alone with thier coworkers. They go through complete life changes easily and fluidly because they have a likable personality.
I've literally seen murderers get out of years in prison and have an easier time at life than me simply because they have the likability and social skills I lack.
I don't know what I'm asking for here. I think I'm just trying to put my thoughts on paper. Metaphorically of course.