back when i was younger, i can easily move on even from big mistakes, i can sleep peacefully and actually i am so careless and irresponsible doing it and has no worry at all, life is always interesting and happy back then.
but now when i get older, consequences just become bigger and scarier, it feels like i am no longer allowed to make mistakes anymore.
one single careless big mistake as example drinking, gambling, doing stupid things that makes people hate you or even lying to people already costs me a lot, i keep ruminating what i have done and it keeps haunts even in sleep. i miss my youth when i dont really care much about it and life without worries.
right now i just want stable and happy life, but it seems i just being haunted with my mistakes, it feels like i having some trauma.
is this normal thing? anyone experienced same thing? how do you guys deal with it?