TLDR Five years ago, my college best friend—with whom I also had a deeply intimate/romantic relationship—betrayed me by getting another girl pregnant. At the time, they weren’t in a relationship (she was a casual partner), but it completely fractured what we had. The breakup was full of unsaid words, and we haven’t spoken since. Over the last few years, he’s dropped occasional “thinking about you” texts, but I never engaged.
I recently turned 30, and with time, my intense anger has faded into a level of acceptance about his reality. He is now co-parenting a 5-year-old daughter with the mother under tough, forced circumstances. I recently reached out to see if catching up made sense. He was immediately open to it, shared a photo of his daughter, and we tentatively planned to meet up this Sunday. Because I want to see if reconnecting actually makes sense for my life, I decided to send him a direct text to lay out my boundaries before we sit down.
I messaged him: “Hey! Looking forward to catching up. Since it’s been five years and things ended on such a heavy note, I definitely want to check in on how we both feel about the past, clear the air, and see where we’re at now in regards to reconciliation. Just wanted to let you know so we’re on the same page.”
It is currently on “Delivered.” I’m waiting for his response, but I’m definitely feeling a bit nervous. I still care about him, there is a lot of history, and I know there will likely be intense sexual tension when we meet. I am hoping he has the maturity now to own up to his shortcomings, but I want to protect my peace. Am I handling this right