Even though I keep getting included in outings and events and stuff inside the friendgroup I just can't help it but think that I'm getting outcasted? Everytime we play games, like minecraft recently, because I'm not as experienced as them I keep getting left behind when they explore, they talk between themselves while pretty much ignoring 80% of stuff I say and do other stuff and don't really wait for me. When they talk and I go quiet for even a second I will not be able to rejoin the conversation because they talk like I'm not there. They will speak over me and ignore what I'm saying. Sometimes I make good jokes and they laugh at them but sometimes they randomly just stare and ignore me. Sometimes they'd randomly pick fights with me and attack when I'm talking and not being serious and it really catches me off guard. I am a little awkward socially and I am kinda weird, but it hurts so much when they treat me like such a fucking creep. I don't know if they realise they're hurting me but I don't think they'd take it seriously. I try to remain open and kind but I just have so much resentment built towards them and honestly everyone and I'm getting more and more bitter even though I'm fighting it, I just can't help it. I wish I knew what was wrong with me, and if I knew, then how could I fix it. I guess some might say it might be an enviroment problem and maybe in a way yeah, but I keep getting treated like this everywhere, not just in my friendgroup.