I REALLY URGENTLY need advice genuinely going through psychosis + a mental breakdown right now.
I (f21) have been friends with now ex?bf (m25) for 2 years, liked him and he liked me but he was always on and off with other women so we never dated. until last summer he suddenly confessed, changed 180, so we started dating, until yesterday.
When we first started dating he accidentally called me another girls name (let’s say mia) 3 times. This hurt me sm so I kept asking him to stop , maybe explain to me why this happens like are u mixing up names, that’s normal.
He swore on his life that he doesn’t know any mia and he himself doesn’t know why he did that. He kept apologizing. I felt really guilty and believed him “that it was so weird and random”.
Yesterday I saw a contact named Mia on his phone, she’s in his work group.. so I casually asked him is that why you lied when you called me Mia? He got really mad, emotional and said I’m inconsiderate for not considering she could be a normal coworker nothing else and that he forgot she exists.
He kept making me feel like I’m completely overdramatic until suddenly he confessed??? He said yk so what if there was a history with Mia, it’s my personal choice not to tell you isn’t it?
Turns out according to him: mia joined his work last year, she hit on him but he “rejected her” and she still wanted to be friends. He became friends with her while love bombing me all summer. He finds out Mia only used him to get privileges at work and actually made fun of his appearance with other ppl there. She then got him a gift as an “apology” and he felt touched by it. (all that at the exact same time we confessed). She and her friends bullied him again. Yet he invited them to hang out with him post work. His self esteem crushed he got depressed, cut Mia off and ignored me for a week. Him and I eventually make up and officially become a couple. I keep asking him who is Mia he swears there isn’t any woman he even talked to while we dated.
now he claims he didn’t do anything wrong because he didn’t have any feelings for her. I don’t believe that, and even if.. I feel so hurt. why would you initiate a rs with me while going on brunches with a coworker who crushes on you but “she’s just a side character”. the worst thing of all. why would you lie to me? why did u always portray me as the crazy paranoid one.
i have never been so hurt all I’ve done since yesterday is cry. I had severe trust issues and never dated. he was the one who told me I need to let my guard down and trust him which I did, always 24/7. Idk how we should go on like should I move on and detach or try to talk it out?
Extra: he said he feels extremely bad and guilty but that this topic was very sensitive to him because of the bullying, which is why he wasnt Honest to me