I’m sorry in advance, there’s a lot that I’ve detailed.
Please read it all before commenting!
My parents have already expressed a bit of concern over how he met them, but I’ll list some details here.
To give some context, this person is like, objectively attractive. Someone you would see blow up online because of it, basically. I’m also humbly objectively pretty, but, not the point. Figured it may contribute, though.
When we matched (tinder), he had “friends” listed, but one of his first messages were about getting me off of the app. This shocks me, but it’s believable because again, pretty, so I’m like ok whatever.
He’s very headstrong about wanting something serious and talks about it fairly often- with one of his unbreakable boundaries being that I cannot have male friends- he sees any conversation with a male as entertaining them, unless it’s for business matters (and it can only be business matters) also expresses that all things start out platonic. Claims every loyalty test he’s done for his friends, the girlfriends failed- and it started out platonic. So that’s become a boundary for him.
Seeing as my ex left me for his best friend, who he swore he didn’t want, I could understand this boundary, but it’s still very important to list.
I cannot talk to gay friends, either. He says “they still have what’s needed to cheat”. That one is weird, but still, whatever. (Specifically because I know how to hide friendships: this is not my first rodeo, and I know I’d never cheat. I’ve no attraction to any of my friends and if they showed as such, I’d ghost them.) this is the only red flag he had before meeting, so I can snake around it. I don’t mind.
He drives about 2 hours to see me but arrives late saying he needed tires rotated. I let him know my mother may want to meet him since he’s a little older than me (20F, 24M). We decided we’ll just stay in the yard/driveway. He insists on meeting my parents and was EXTREMELY confident when he was doing as such. “I didn’t know she had a sister!” When talking to my mom, and at the end of their conversation she went to shake his hand but he said he wanted a hug. My mom’s an angel (genuinely.) so ofc she gave him a hug.
He insisted on leaving twice, asking if I knew anywhere to go, but I didn’t want to since we only had about an hour 30 to talk and I live on a mountain.
Obviously it was a little awkward, but he became touchy after about 30 minutes, which I was fine with. Consistent compliments as well, he was sweet.
We also kissed, like 10 times. Dunno if that’s important. He told me it’s been months since he kissed anyone- which is the same for me.
I’m kinda torn, he seems super nice and genuine but at the same time seems like a recipe for disaster, there are alarms going off. This may also be because my only other relationship was with a narcissist.
My parents quickly expressed after he left, that this seemed like fuckboy behavior. He claims he’s just confident in himself.
I need help. The only dating experience I’ve had was traumatic so I don’t trust my judgment because it’s in fear. We’d been talking for 2 weeks and click well over the phone.
Oh: one more thing. Earlier he showed a photo of himself with 2 bruised eyes, claimed it was from boxing. He told me on the date that his face was puffy because of a nose job- without admitting the boxing lie.
That’s why he looked a little different than I expected:
What do you guys think?