My mum is a talker. She talks over people a lot, guesses what they want to say and tries to complete their sentences. She’s a natural extrovert, laughs a lot and talking comes naturally to her.
For a long time I thought this was how you’re ‘supposed’ to have a conversation. I unintentionally mimicked her by trying to talk ALL THE TIME with barely any silence in between. It was exhausting for me but I tried to keep up. And sure I had a large group of friends and was invited to everything. But when it came to deep emotional conversations, I was the last person friends would think of. And I don’t blame them, I would have been SO annoying.
Only after moving away from my family did I realise how exhausting it would be to talk to me (and it was exhausting for me too, trying to keep up, being an introvert). Now I have discovered my natural conversation style and have fewer but much deeper and meaningful friendships.
My sister is still the same though. Since she’s much younger than me, I don’t think she’s realised yet how draining that communication style can feel to others. My mum is unlikely to change at this stage, but I do hope my sister becomes more aware of it with time.
All through my childhood I never felt heard due to the constant interruption. I still fear someone will interrupt me while talking so barely talk more than 1-2 sentences even in a professional setting. If the conversation focuses on me, I try to answer and quickly deflect to someone else. Still a lot of things I need to work through but I’m getting there 🤞🏼