I (27M) became exclusive a few weeks ago with a 25F I’ve been dating since December. Last Sunday we were talking about boundaries and relationship expectations. During the conversation, she asked me when the last time was that I kissed someone, hooked up, or went on a date before exclusivity.
I told her multiple times that I honestly didn’t want to talk about the past because I know myself well enough to know hearing certain things might bother me emotionally. But she kept insisting, so I answered honestly. I told her my last kiss was at a Valentine’s Day party at a bar and my last date was in March and I didn't hook up with anyone apart from her
She then told me her last kiss was in April while she was traveling through New Zealand with her female friend. She also admitted she shared a bed/room with the guy, although according to her they didn’t hook up or do anything sexual beyond kissing.
I won’t lie, hearing that hurt me a lot. She could tell my mood changed immediately and started trying to reassure me. At one point she even offered for me to check her phone, which honestly wouldn’t solve anything anyway.
What makes this more confusing is that I’m not acting morally superior here either. The literal day she asked me to be exclusive, I was actually in the process of setting up a date with another girl. Once we became exclusive, I deleted Hinge and cut contact with the girl I was planning to take out.
So logically I understand that neither of us was technically doing anything wrong before exclusivity. But emotionally it still bothers me that she kissed someone and shared a bed with him while we had already been dating for months.