I've been keeping casual notes on first dates from the last few months. The conversation on date one usually circles back to whatever the profile didn't address. Two examples from my own run:
– Bio detailed and funny, six paragraphs of voice, the kids field blank. Three out of five times the guy had kids and didn't want me filtering on it before we met. Either way I knew what to ask about.
– Job listed as 'self-employed' with no elaboration. Sometimes a freelance designer who didn't want to discuss work on dates. Sometimes a job he didn't want surfaced before we'd already met. I still knew what topic was coming on date one.
I started asking about the gap before we meet. Something like 'I noticed your bio doesn't say what you do for work, just curious what you actually do.' Most guys answer fine. The ones who get cagey have answered the question for me.
I haven't figured out if this is reasonable or if it crosses into something invasive. I'd rather meet someone I already trust than save twenty minutes.
For people who've been on apps a while: do you ask about the blank fields, or let them go and find out on the date?