I’ve asked around and I’ve reached a consensus: People don’t hate me but they’re not ecstatic about me either.
Like I would have conversations with people and invites from friends but there’s this disconnect that I have with people which I’m not really sure where it comes from.
For example, one of the questions I asked my coworker was “is it because I’m fat” as a partial joke and she said “no”
But then I noticed that people when they talk to me, it’s more proper than they would talk to with their friends. Once my coworker started talking to the other coworker, she had more slang “shit dude, the other weekend got me messed up”. And I realized that’s kinda a recurring pattern.
I mean I use slang and cuss too. I’m just so confused why people get tensed around me. Tensed is probably the wrong word, but you see how people are ok with talking to me but there’s this weird gap of comforability. Like do I make people uncomfy? (I’ve asked this before, people would say no)
I’m just so confused on what charismatic trait I’m missing.
My jokes land 90% of the time. I ask people how they are. I talk about myself. Vulnerable but not too much. I relate to other people’s problems. I talk and ask about upcoming movies and stuff.
I was ranting to a classmate and I said “I sent her a text asking what she does for work, ik it’s kinda weird but what else I’m supposed to say to start a conversation” he laughed but said “yea I prob wouldn’t even respond to that. Just relax and let the conversation flow” what does just relax even mean 😭 but you see, even though I’m ranting to him about my problem. Both him and I know, I have a gap with him too. Once this class ends, we won’t be talking. I know that and it’s perfectly fine.
It’s just I can never get out of the acquaintance zone with like 95% of the people
I know my post is hard to answer, especially since it’s based on irl interactions but honestly any analysis and advice helps.