I am asking this as a few poeple on this sub recommended I focus on my interests in other things when my goal is a genuine connection with someone (as opposed to using someone, looking good, or showing off)
Ultimately I dont see the point of even engaging with others of the goal is to focus on myself and avoid joint interaction, so this makes me wonder, what does this advice mean? Why should I focus on my solo interests when talking to someone when the goal is to be create and see if there is a dynamic beyond me doing everything or just using them for my own ends or goals.
What am I missing hear, and how does focusing on only your self bring people together and why does focusing on a dynamic or both of you seem to be the "wrong play"