A quick context to this, I have two kids, boys aged 15 and 11, from a previous marriage. Both my partner and I are neurodiverse and she works in education.
I have my kids 50% of the time, some days of the week they are with me and then alternate weekends. Whenever my kids are here she is immediately different. Her mood is low, she is more on edge, and I get asked questions like "do you still like me" more and more.
It's honestly exhausting, and we've been together 2 and 1/2 years with a view to me proposing. I love this woman more than I have anyone else in my life other than my kids. I do find this bit very hard. I get along with both of her kids fine although they are older than mine.
As for child care and chores, I make sure my fair share is done. I do laundry. I make beds I cook. I wash up after cooking, and make sure the kids are ready for school, and other things like that. I work from home so it only makes sense
Even with all this, the presence of my children still causes undue stress to my partner and in turn it makes me feel very defensive and very stressed too. Can anyone else relate or offer a small piece for advice for me to reframe my own thinking?
TL:Dr need advice on my kids stressing out my partner