A bit of a vent, but mostly asking for help. If anyone's got doctor recommendations in the Chicagoland area, lmk.
Background: I've suffered from ED since I was at least 20. About 7 times out of 10 I can't get it up when I'm with another person and even when I can get it up, I lose it almost immediately without constant stimulation. I suspected porn usage was contributing to this as I could more reliably get it up by myself but still lost it very quickly. I've cut out porn and masturbation multiple times for months at a time (being on a submarine and purposefully not bringing porn underway made this really easy) but this didn't really help at all. I'm relatively in shape, my mental health is finally relatively in order. I'm on an SNRI but my issues have been present loooong before I was on it and have not gotten worse since getting on it. I also suffer from phimosis which doesn't help these issues either making sex much less enjoyable but that still doesn't explain why I have these issues during masturbation since I'm able to not cause myself any pain when it's just me. I also tried out sildenafil for a little during this time period and all it did was make my face feel hot and flushed. I also got my test checked early on and it came back normal for my age.
Long story short, I'm fucked up and I can't pinpoint why. So I've gone to a doctor 3 times; twice in the navy, once with a civilian doc unaffiliated with the VA. None of these visits have been particularly useful.
The first two docs basically outright refused to help me. Said I was too young to be having these issues and that I just needed to relax. Would not prescribe medication, write me a referral, or run any tests. I was pretty unwilling to go get mental health help because I was very aware I was clinically depressed and that diagnosis would get me removed from my job for an extended period of time. Now that I'm a free man, I have gotten help and boy do I feel better. Still don't work any better though.
Civilian doc at least prescribed me some cialis but I had to fight for that. I still don't believe it'll work but we'll see eventually. He won't run any tests until I at least try it but it took about half an hour of me explaining all of the above in explicit detail and then some for him to hesitantly prescribe me anything. Even if it does work, what then? I'm just stuck shelling out $100/month to do what other guys can do naturally? Are there some magic words I have to say or something to get a doctor to take me seriously? At this point, I'm relatively sure there's something physically wrong with me but I can't figure that out without a doctor believing me. Any help is appreciated.