My wife and I have been married for 21 years, and today's outburst was an interesting one, so I'd like to share it.
I'd informed her that I'd be running late today due to work in the office. She said OK, and mentioned dinner will be tuna sandwiches, which I'm totally OK with. When I reached home around 7pm, I asked if she was hungry, and had taken something in which she responded that she ate something at 5pm. I took a quick shower, and after that proceeded to the kitchen for dinner. On the kitchen counter was a bowl with a single portion of tuna spread in it (which she made), and on a small saucer next to it was a boiled egg. The plan was for me make my sandwich at the dining table where the bread was placed. Noticing the single portion of tuna, I asked if she was eating as well, in which she responded that the meal was for me only.
Here's where it went off-the-rails. As she turn to the fridge to put something away, I took the hard boiled egg from the saucer, and proceeded to smash it into the tuna spread because it'll be like a tuna and egg salad sandwich (which would be nice). When, she turned around and saw me do that, she got upset and said, "That egg is mine.", in which I responded with an "Oh no!", and an apology because I didn't know that. What followed was a series of escalating rants, questions and conclusions from her:
- You are poor at communicating. Why didn't you ask about the egg before using it? Didn't you realize there was already egg in the tuna spread?
- No, I don't want you to make me a fresh boiled egg. It's not about the egg anymore.
- Why are you so quiet? Is it because you play video games? Are all gamers quiet? That must be it. I don't like quiet people because they are awkward to be around. You only like to talk to your gamer friends don't you? All of you are like that.
- I never said that I wasn't going to have dinner together with you. I only said that the tuna was yours, you're hearing things. Your mother has dementia. You have the same thing now.
- I shouldn't have waited for you to come back to have dinner together. Don't expect us to have dinner together anymore going forward.
- I'm so upset right now that I feel like vomiting at the sight of this food. I hate tuna sandwiches. I don't want to see you. I will probably feel like vomiting the next time I make tuna sandwiches. There won't be a next time!
- Why are you so quiet? You're angry at me for being upset? Yes you are!
It's been a long day at the office, and throughout her outburst, I didn't even know how to respond to the word avalanche. I just stared blankly at my tuna sandwich thinking about the unfortunate act of smashing an egg, and oddly about how a marriage could end because of an egg.
It's now after dinner, and we've started communicating a bit (me letting her know I'm taking the garbage out), but at least I get a "fine" response. Hopefully time heals… that egg isn't sitting well in my tummy right now. I hope it's psychological.