My husband and I have been married for 5 yrs. We have three kids 5 and under, youngest is 6 months old. Since our youngest was born our relationship has felt so disconnected and sex hasn’t been the same.
Postpartum/breastfeeding hormones have caused a major decrease in my libido. Not only that, sex hurts, almost every time we’ve had sex since I gave birth, it’s caused micro tears or just terrible discomfort. I’ve talked to my obgyn about it. I’m not too worried because I know it’ll improve when I stop breastfeeding. My husband doesn’t know because I don’t tell him, I just push through the pain or try my best to avoid him. I know it’s immature, but I really don’t want to talk to him about it. It’s very uncomfortable for me.
He made a comment when I was about 2 months pp about how it would be really good for him if I got on birth control. I’ve been very adamant that I hate how it makes me feel, have tried it in the past and that he can use condoms. He gets all mopey and says he doesn’t want to use condoms for the rest of his life and that it ruins sex. So he either pulls out during sex or forgoes sex entirely instead of wearing a condom.
I might be willing to set aside my discomfort if I knew he were going to get a vasectomy when we decide we are finished having kids but he also refuses to even consider that. I just feel like I am expected to make all these sacrifices with my body for his comfort when I don’t even care about sex right now. I’m having a really hard time getting past his comment too. Every time he complains about not having sex, I think of his comment. I don’t know how to get past any of this. I’ve told him that I found his comment incredibly offensive and he said I should take it as a compliment that he is so attracted to me that he wants me to get on birth control so we can have sex all the time.