I’ve (16F) always been shy but I’ve had social anxiety since I was about 11. In middle school I was super quiet and not very conventionally attractive, and I was aware that made me seem weird to other people. When people would talk to me it was really hard to tell if they were making fun of me or being genuinely nice.
Even though I’ve gained a lot of confidence and put a lot more effort towards my physical appearance, I still struggle to this day. I think I might be autistic but I’ve never been diagnosed or tested at all professionally. A lot of the time I feel like I’m just pretending to be normal, but I worry people are able to see through my front, or at least find me a little ”off”. I’ve definitely met people that I felt this way about, and I don’t think they’re aware of it.
Sometimes someone talks to me in a way that takes me aback, like a guy asking me if I like his friend while said friend laughs, or a girl talking to me with a subtle giggle in her voice. If they are making fun of me, I don’t want to let them get away with that, but I feel like I have to respond nicely in case they aren’t. How do I know when someone is being genuine? How do I know whether I’m acting awkward or not, and if I am, how do I stop?