I work seasonally outdoors with really cool, but occasionally cliquey people. It's been difficult to make "true" friends, even though we work in niche, cool and communal places. Seems like I meet so many people who will pour their hearts out to me, tell me their tramuas, say things like "I've never told anyone this before." They'll tell me I'm cool, interesting, grounded, trustworthy etc. I'd like to think they're being genuine, but lately it doesn't feel that way.
A few weeks ago several of these people, some of whom I live with, planned an entire spring break trip to the PNW, organized it all in front of me and made it clear I wasn't invited.
To add insult to injury, I found a cool foraging spot nearish where we live and told one of my "friends" about it. She asked for the coordinates on Sunday, I gave them to her and was excited to show her, then get a text that says "Great! Me and so-and-so are going today, see ya at work tomorrow!"
It feels like I really try to be a good friend, but I'm only called upon when someone needs a shoulder to cry on and left out when they're actually doing something fun. Idk what to do, because I don't think anyone is being purposefully mean or exclusive, but it still hurts like a bitch to feel used like this.
The only thing i can think of that I'm doing wrong is that I have been told I'm intimidating and hard to read. But if that's the case, why are they telling me their deepest darkest secrets and then jet setting off to a rave or wherever without me? Also, I'm not sure how to stop being intimidating or hard to read, because I don't see myself as either of those things and it's hard to pinpoint exactly what people mean when they say that.