I will try to make this short. I got married when I was 19. I dated as a teenager and had a high school type of love before that. I was married for 18 years. I got divorced back in 2018. It took me five years before I even attempted dating. I focused on myself, raising my kids and navigating life after divorce.
Back in 2023 I decided to get out and date. At that time I thought I had healed and was ready to find a relationship. Turns out, I was healed but not as much as I thought because I attracted the same type of person in a different body. I dated a guy for a few years and ended up heartbroken, having to heal again and traumatized from the bullshit I allowed.
Now I have healed more, my mindset has changed and I know I’m not the same person I was even last year. I built a career, have friends and family that fulfill my life, I’ve raised my kids and they are not adults, I take care of myself and I don’t need anyone for anything. Except for sex.
I’ve now reached a point where I don’t want a relationship. I don’t care to get out and do the traditional dating thing because I have non traditional views on relationships. Plus, The peace and stability I’ve gained after the tumultuous marriage i was in, will not be fucked with by anyone. I am open to a relationship and love if it finds me so I don’t feel I’m jaded. But right now I want to focus on something purely physical. I’ve always been the lover girl, loyal, loving, caring type. I dont have a bone in my body that can use and abuse anyone or anything.
Recently I started putting myself in places in real life and online where I can meet people who want something physical. However, I can’t just have sex with any random person, I have to connect mentally in order to enjoy it, and I won’t do a one night stand.
I’ve met a few people I would really like to just fuck, to be blunt. But my question is this, how do I just have sex and not get attached? I know sex doesn’t equal love, but the old me operated that way. The new me understands that is not possible. The new doesn’t want to be in a relationship, I just want intimacy and sex. A woman just needs to get fucked and not by a toy! Any advice or ideas. How do men have sex and not get attached? Women have you been able to master this?