I’ve been celibate against my will for like 5 months. I haven’t really met anyone who wanted to have sex with me. lol. I’ve gotten kind of heavy too so it’s hard to find people who are into thicker women. So I’m trying to remain patient. I actually want a partner who thinks I’m hot and enjoys looking at me. I haven’t had that before!!! I’ve had a sex life full of lost/ absent erections and women who didn’t even see me as a sexual being.
So I’ve been trying to take care of my own urges but I kind of hate masturbating. It feels sooo awkward. Especially after when I’m alone in a room by myself. I always try to make it quick with just my hand. I miss penetration but my arms start cramping when using a dildo. And for some reason it just doesn’t feel natural. I ended up tearing up once using it. Like it feels sooo artificial.
Are there any recs to make it feel more like the real thing or just to get in tuned with my body? Or should I just throw in the towel and download tinder ?