I'm a 29 year old guy who struggles with socializing. I graduated college 8 years ago with a degree in Digital Filmmaking and only recently found out that the only real ideal way to get a job in what I want my career to be (video editor) is to network and make connections with people in the industry. I haven't had much luck in finding work in my field since graduating, only a few short term freelance jobs I got through family members, filming and editing a music video for my sister and filming and editing some videos for a business that is owned by someone my parents know.
I've never been in a relationship before but have been on dating apps on and off for a few years,got a handful of matches but never actually got a date. I always felt like I really shouldn't try to date until I have my life where I want it, which is having the job I want and not the minimum wage retail job I currently have, so I haven't been on a dating app in a while.
I recently thought that might not be true and made an account on tinder recently and I matched with a girl. We had a lot in common in terms of hobbies (video editing, photography) and we both liked cartoons, and even were both liked a particular actor and knew him from a secondary character he played in a cartoon we both watched.
We were talking for a few days but I mentioned how I'm working a retail job and not having a career in what I majored in 7 years after graduating college. She said it seemed like we're in different places in life and that I don't have any goals or aspirations in life or if I do that I don't have the drive to achieve them. That she knows what she wants out of life and is also working a retail job but has things lined up to get her the career she wants. I mentioned being socially awkward and not knowing how to network and she said that's the stupidest thing she ever heard and that social skills can be improved and that this was goodbye.
I sometimes feel embarrassed and pathetic because of my situation and this experience makes me feel like I'm right to feel that way. It makes me feel like I'm right to think I can't try to get into a relationship until I'm not working a retail job that a teenager without my experience/ education can easily get instead of what I want to be doing. Or at least until I'm making moves to get that career, networking and making connections instead of just applying online for video editing jobs online like I've been doing, which I've heard is pointless and not worth doing.
Not to say that I should only get a video editing job to be able to get into a relationship. I'm passionate about video editing and do want to do it as a career, especially because I have to start paying my student loans off soon and I want to be putting my college degree to use by then so I can say I actually got something out of college and not be paying back thousands of dollars in debt with nothing to show for it.