I (27F) always seem to find myself in the same predicament when dating men. We go on one or two really amazing dates, they seem very interested, and then what feels like out of nowhere, they change their mind and don’t want another date.
In the most recent time this happened:
We matched on a dating app, had a really nice first date where we both felt immediate chemistry and he was proactive about organising the second date.
Date 2 was even better, we had the perfect balance meaningful conversations, funny banter and flirting. I ended up going home with him, the sex was great and he even took me out to breakfast the next day! We’d regularly texted back and forth in the following days so there was no doubt in my mind that there would be a third date at the very minimum. But then I go to initiate the next date and I get hit with the “sorry but I don’t really feel a connection/attraction” message.
This is one of many instances where the same thing has happened and it never hurts less. Especially when the connection feels so strong from both sides during the dates. It’s so frustrating never feeling like I can build a genuine connection with someone even in the short-term because I can never get past the 1st or 2nd date.
It’s gotten to the point where I am questioning if I’m the problem, is there something I’m doing wrong? Are men losing interest after sleeping with me? Is there something I’m saying in the post-date texting that suddenly turns them off?
I get perspective is everything and a good date in my mind could be a bad date for them. But why would someone insist on me sleeping over and spending more time with them in the morning if they didn’t find the date enjoyable??
I’ve never personally been on the side where I’ve let someone down after a really high-chemistry, enjoyable date, so I’d like to get insight as to why people do it? What is the thought process? Even if I’d started to feel slightly uncertain in the texting-inbetween-dates period, I feel like I’d give at least one more date a chance. Or otherwise would love some advice on how to get past the initial dates.