We have been together for almost 2 years. I’m going to try to make this as short as possible.
I didn’t know about any of his addictions when I first met him. 4-5 months into dating I found out about his cocaine use/problem and started to realize how heavily he drank but didn’t really realize the drinking was an issue at first as we were fresh and went out a lot and partied together as we met in the summer. I also didn’t know about his gambling addiction until much later on (probably about 7-9 months ish, and definitely did not know the terrible extent of it and how much debt he was/is in until much later).
Fast forward, leaving out some details, he moved in with me and my mom+twin brother. Only pays rent sometimes, has a business and makes good money, spends most of it gambling, drinks a lot, and although he has quit doing cocaine it’s been a lot.
I have managed to help him get medication for his ADHD and just the past few days get a mental health evaluation and take the steps for getting meds for depression/anxiety but he’s only been to therapy twice the whole time I’ve know him. Recently he got a warrant for arrest as he got a ticket for driving without insurance that he ignored and I’M The one who found out about the warrant as I called the court and told him his appearance date had past and he was convicted in absence.
He honestly struggles horribly with mental health. He’s one of the funniest, most personable, loving people I’ve ever met but he is also the most disorganized, jumbled and deeply troubled people I’ve come to find out. I love him deeply but I’ve gotten myself into a mess.
The issue I’m having is there will be WEEKS where things are great and “normal”, he will take his medication, go to work, we will go hiking, he will save money, essentially build a routine and then something happens. It could be anything like binge drinking, gambling and I come to find out tonight he texted a cocaine dealer but didn’t end up getting through. He was drunk ALL DAY today and incredibly hard to deal with (just thinking he’s being funny but is actually sloppy and annoying, as drunk people can be) and he is very impulsive and reckless.
Best part is we go on a trip to visit his parents in 8 days and although I am looking forward to it I am also just so hopeless, sad and grieving a relationship I once saw as amazing and I continuously falls deeper into bad decisions, lack of accountability and broken promises.
My question is how can I move past this. I feel I am not ready to end things and kick him out as pathetic as that sounds, I still love him, I want to help him but I understand I can’t unless he wants to help himself. This whole situation sucks and I just feel helpless and stupid.
TL;DR my boyfriend keeps getting worse and I don’t know how to accept that things may not work out how I thought they would. What can I do to move forward?