I’m 37 (M) and my wife is 35. We have 2 kids and been married for 7 years. My wife changed phones and left her old phone at the house, our child usually uses it to play with and I unlocked it for him and saw something that didn’t sit right.
My wife is the kind of person that always says what’s in her mind and has never up to this point or at least that I’m aware of been one to lie to me. We had been having a rough couple of years, for many reasons, it was a rough patch in our marriage, she, however, seemed to have sorted her mind out and wanted to work things out with me, I never wanted us to separate, it was more of her idea from time to time. Anyway, recently, she confessed that she would accept me as I am and that I’m a good husband and she needs to understand that we’re just different me and her, she’s super bouncy and I’m more mellow, she’s explosive with her behavior and I’m more level headed. We’ve been married for 7 years and yesterday I found several text message conversations that range from her confessing she’s been on at least 2 dates, having tinder, and flirting with other men. She denies having ever had Tinder and tells me that she never met with any of the men even though the text messages seem to state otherwise. I really love my wife, and I feel lost, I have no friends to vent to and I have no one to express how I feel. I feel I’ve lost all my self respect going through this and when I ask about it and she denies denies denies, I feel gaslighted, I want to believe she’s telling me the truth but how does that contradict what I see in writing?
She recently underwent a weight loss journey and completely stopped posting pictures together and only posts pictures of herself. She says she lies to them and likes the attention she gets from men and likes to see how far she can push it and that she’s never been physical with anyone but admitted having liked someone that she talked to even though she flirted with many, I don’t know what to believe and how much is true. Sorry for the messy blob of text, it’s late at night and I feel utterly devastated and alone and I wanted to hear any advise, I don’t know what to do or how to move on.