Hi everyone, hope this is allowed.
For context, 25F and I date older, not as a fetish but that is my genuine preference and my healthiest relationships have been with older men. I am also a person of faith.
I cannot comprehend how the world will reach a space where marriage is valued. I have a traditional outlook, the wife is a homemaker, nurturer, healer and the husband is the breadwinner, financial provider, protector etc. I love it, no issues there. There also aren't any issues for me in finding men that tick the above criteria *except* the mentality towards marriage is different. Men seem to expect more and more quickly too these days.
I am a slow burner. I don't nosedive into intimacy. No 3 date rule, let's have a few drinks, once you buy me a car… it takes time for me. I believe in authentic courtship because a man is a gentleman, not because he knows it is what's expected of him to 'get the girl'. I can't see how the two can marry: the principles and mindset. Men now have seen so much explicit content that they have become desensitised to the beauty behind intimacy and it has become an expectation. Additionally, it has become so easy now for infidelity to occur. It's almost expected.
It feels as though I am desiring something intangible even though I have experienced it before. A protector, provider and ultimately, a gentleman willing to do whatever it takes in the name of family. Distance was the issue each time but I think we allow small things to get in the way of happiness considering how many different challenges there are in the world. Distance is trivial in comparison.
I am not sure what to ask really. I suppose, what advice do you have for meeting a potential partner? Are there respectful sites, apps that men in their mid 30s-40s use with the intention of marriage? I don't really know how to put myself out there, seriously, and how to vet a man that is truly committed to marriage and not the mere prospect.
Edit: someone very rightly noted I make no point of what I offer. I have had the above discussions with previous partners and the concensus is that they were each happy with me and what I offer as a person and a partner. Not to say that I am perfect in any way. As a partner, I cook, clean, organise, handle homely matters and tend to my partners needs. I haven't met a man that has had any issue with my expectations in a relationship and it was actually my ex who really instilled the principles in me in a man being a provider of the home.
The main point of the post wasn't that I can't find a man who can execute my needs, but a man who has a traditional mentality towards it. Meaning, he is a gentleman as opposed to him executing my needs because he knows it's what is expected of him. I'm not sure if it translates. For example, I wouldn't expect to meet a gentleman on Tinder but maybe [insert a more suitable website]