Hi everyone, I’m looking for some honest advice because I’m struggling to understand my own reaction.
I’m (28F) in a healthy relationship with my boyfriend (31M). He has never given me a reason not to trust him; he’s consistent, open, and from everything I know, he’s never cheated in past relationships. He also clearly says he wouldn’t do that, and I do believe him.
The issue is on my side: whenever he goes out at night (with friends, normal plans), I feel anxious. My mind starts going to “what if he cheats”, even though I don’t actually think he would.
It’s not something I bring up to him or act on, but internally it makes me uneasy and I don’t like feeling this way, especially because it feels unfair to him.
I don’t want to become controlling or let this affect the relationship, so I’d really like to understand:
Is this kind of anxiety common? And how can I manage these thoughts in a healthy way without projecting them onto him?
Would really appreciate hearing from people who’ve experienced something similar.
TL;DR:
I trust my boyfriend and he’s never given me a reason not to, but I feel anxious whenever he goes out at night and worry he might cheat. How do I manage this without projecting it onto him?