My bf 20M and I 19F have been together for nearly 3 years now. We have broken up once previously early into our relationship because I had mental health issues, but we continued to date after we decided we couldn’t just be friends. He’s the kind of guy who relies heavily on me, to say he is devoted is an understatement. He considers me to be his entire world, and sometimes I worry he relies on my presence too much. People often tell me that I am the best thing to ever happen to him.
But this is where I feel like a horrible person, because I have felt recently that we may be drifting apart. My mental health has been deteriorating and I recently had a traumatic experience, in which he supported me but also didn’t understand. I just feel so lonely at the moment, but I understand this is my fault as I haven’t opened up fully to him.
We are looking to move out next year to a different town for career purposes but I am nervous for the following reasons. 1. I will be a few hours away from my family. 2. I have never been to this place before and I am a very anxious person. I am excited for the following reasons 1. I will be near some of my closest friends. 2. I feel as though I need a fresh start. I should also mention that I want to move from this town I am in as I have found it to be depressing and toxic.
Another part of me is wondering if I’m missing out on something- I have no friends who I can hang out with where I live, and neither does he. Another part of me is wondering if we spend too much time together, and that is the problem. Maybe moving will give me an opportunity to make new friends, as well as my partner.
I can’t imagine my life without him, and I’m worried we rely on each other too much. I’m wondering if the passion isn’t there because of my mental health issues. I am unsure if moving will solve the problem-maybe we need to move onto the next step in our lives.
He’s told me before that if I ever left him for whatever reason he would probably kill himself. I care for him so much and love him so much I don’t want anything to happen to him if we were to take a break. Last time we did he resorted to drugs and fell into a depression spiral.
How would you approach this situation?