My husband and I have become really emotionally and physically disconnected over the last couple of years and I honestly don’t know if this relationship is repairable anymore.
We have young children together. We haven’t had sex in a very long time (I’d say close to 2 years) there’s very little affection or closeness, and most conversations about the relationship end with him shutting down, getting irritated, or saying he’ll “try harder” but then nothing changes.
I’ve felt increasingly lonely in the relationship for a long time now.
Recently we both admitted we feel disconnected, but even those conversations feel emotionally flat from his side. It feels like he acknowledges the issue without actually engaging with it.
Things escalated after a difficult day tied to grief over losing a parent years ago. I felt hurt by how little compassion I received from him during a vulnerable moment, and the conversation spiralled into bigger relationship issues.
Later I discovered evidence he had been on an adult site, which hit me hard in the context of such a long period without intimacy. When I brought it up he became angry I had seen it and said he feels “nothing” towards me and that we are too far gone.
At this point I genuinely don’t know whether this is emotional avoidance/disconnection that could potentially be repaired, or whether he has emotionally checked out of the marriage entirely.
I feel emotionally exhausted, rejected, and very alone in the relationship.