**I wanna get some advice – my (40f) partner (33m) works away a lot, around 6 months of the year. He’s recently been away for two weeks, due to return today. I was excited to see him, but he’s told me he has two big work days tomorrow and Wednesday and can only come round for a few hours, not stay the night. I know he’s going to be in disconnected work mode and I won’t get the closeness I need, which will make me feel sad and lonely, so I told him I’d see him after he’s done with work on Wednesday because I don’t want to feel rushed.**
Typically, I’ve accepted small time slots but recently I’ve realised I can’t do that anymore. It makes me feel like I’m a pit stop (although I know he doesn’t mean it like that). He’s sad he can’t see me tonight, and feels like a crap boyfriend for being so busy with work. I’m finding it harder to contain my frustrations around his work schedule and I’m getting more vocal about it. We keep having fights 🙁
This is a new approach for me, being really clear with my boundaries and not taking what feels like crumbs, and I feel really uneasy. I feel crap that I’m not seeing him tonight, crap that my boundaries are making him feel like a crap boyfriend, frustrated that I can’t win either way because all I want is to feel close to him and in no scenario was this going to happen. Have I done the right thing? Could I have done anything differently?
TL:DR Boyfriend coming home after two weeks, can only see me for a few hours this evening before heading off to work for two more days. I told him I can’t see him because I don’t want to feel rushed. I’m worried I’ve done the wrong thing and hurt him unnecessarily.
Edit to add: thank you for your advice. I’ve apologised and asked him round this evening. No use us both being apart and miserable when we just want to be together. It’s hard but I realise I need to accept what he can give at the moment.