I’m 28m and have never really had many adult men in my life besides my dad (who is quiet, polite, and kind of solitary- NOT macho, just a good guy who never really got along with friends’ macho dads when I was growing up). I’ve had so so many strong, astounding women in my life since I was young and owe a lot of who I am to them. Most of my friends in childhood and adulthood have been girls and into adulthood my only close guy friends are guys i’ve known since I was a kid and are some of the most gently, ethical people i’ve met. I’m personally very quiet & book-y but i’m 6’4 and masculine and I think a lot of older guys assume i’m a bit more on the macho, social side.
All this to say, past my dad i’ve never built a solid connection with an adult guy who was older than me. No mentors, no boyscout leaders or sports coaches growing up, really just a void of older guy influence or connection.
This is, up until a little while ago. I’ve had a few older guys reach out recently- guys i’ve met randomly but also one who helped me out with stuff related to becoming a teacher. But not only do I feel they’re kind of…disappointed(?) I have trouble communicating with them, a couple times i’ve just kind of…fallen off not sure what to do next? I guess i’m just confused as to maintain a really basic connection with older guys. Just seems like there’s basically no expectations on their end other than mutual communication but i’m falling flat on that. Can anyone relate? Any advice from cool older dudes?
TLDR: I’ve never really had older guys or male mentors in my life and now that i’ve gotten some opportunities, i’ve been confused how to maintain the connection and communicate.