I already broke up with him and I think I just need validation that this was as shady as it felt. We’ve been together for 3 years and I genuinely never thought I’d be making a post like this.
We were really close. We spent most of our time together, were always hanging out, and I had his location for over a year just because it was convenient for both of us. Because of that, I know this was not some full secret second relationship or him physically cheating in person. That almost makes this feel weirder somehow because our relationship felt normal and solid.
We were actually getting to the point of moving in together, and honestly I’m so relieved now that I was stalling lol.
I trusted him completely. I was never the type to check his phone or question what he was doing.
Basically he was using his phone to look something up and Safari was already open. I happened to catch a glimpse before he switched tabs and it was some random girl’s Instagram page. For context, we both deleted the IG app back in April 2024 bc we had goals of being on social media less/being more present, so this is extra fkn annoying lol.
What’s weird is I had randomly felt insecure about his Instagram that morning for no real reason, which almost never happens for me. Even in the first few months of us dating, I had this weird gut feeling and I even told my mom (she remembers too), that I thought he was messaging other girls on Instagram, but I blamed my own insecurities because I had no real reason to think this. So… random? So in this moment I felt the need to speak up and asked, “Wait, who’s that?”
The second I said it, his whole energy shifted. He immediately got weird and defensive and was like, “What, you want me to go back?”
I was like… yeah?
He had already switched to Google on that tab, so he went back, but started saying stuff like “I don’t even know her” and “it’s not like I’ve messaged her.”
That immediately made my stomach drop because who even says that unprompted?
So I said okay, let me see your messages then.
I clicked toward his Instagram DMs and I barely even saw anything before he completely lost it. He started snatching the phone, getting rude, defensive, angry, and blaming me for even looking. His reaction was so extreme that honestly I immediately knew something was up.
The whole time he kept repeating, “I’m not doing anything bad.” So I was like then why can’t I see?
He refused to let me look and a short while later admitted he’s been DMing girls and replying to their stories. That was enough for me. I ended it.
Now he wants another chance and is acting devastated, but I’m done.
I’m just gutted because I genuinely never saw this coming. I feel so deceived. I really thought I knew him and I really thought we were building toward a future together.
I think I just need people to tell me I’m not crazy for ending a 3 year relationship over this, because my gut is telling me if this is what he admitted to after freaking out that hard, there was probably more.
I’m just really sad.
TLDR: he’s been messaging other girls on IG our entire relationship so I broke up with him. I’m just sad and want to hear people’s takes so I can stay strong.