Hi Everyone,
So I have a big problem socialising with people (even small talks/conversations at work), and this is starting to be a big problem for me. During my teen years, I did not have a group of friends to go out or spend my time with (I had few bad experiences, and overall I was in a bad state mentally), and I hoped that during uni I would be able to get out of the shell. Well, it did not happen: went to uni during COVID and once we are back to normal, if I was not at uni, I was working. Well, lately I realised that I can't have a conversation with people at ALL: it is not only the fact that when someone is in the same office as me, it is also quite as hell, even when people come and speak to me after their appointments, I literally say nothing interesting, and my mind goes BLANK, I can't think about anything. Besides that, the other day I had the opportunity to go out in the evening with other 2 coworkers (I was excited since it was my first time), needless to say that I haven't talked a lot (even though at work are the most 2 people that I speak to and they are usually the ones starting the conversation and carring it), I have enjoyed my time don0t get me wrong, however I think I was more like a burden more than anything, probably have ruined the evening and making, whoever decided to invite me, regret the decision. I do not know, I know I tend to overanalyse things, and my insecurity does not help, and I do not know how to burst my bubble. I am aware that it is something that needs to be addressed in therapy sessions, however, at the moment I can't afford it.
Any tips or suggestions?