Looking for any reccomendations at this point. I've tried therapy multiple times with very little improvement. I am very self aware and I know why I am depressed. It's mainly from a major regret that happened in the past. I have a very hard time to distract myself from the ruminating thoughts.
Regular exercise helps to a certain point, it distracts me for an hour or so but not much else. I have stopped smoking weed for 8 months now, used to smoke a bunch since I was a teen. I have a social circle, drink a bit with them about twice a week. Lost my interests for hobbies a long time ago. I used to force myself to ski and bike. Now I really could care less. I used to love gaming and smoking but not anymore.
The only thing that helped has been ssris. I stopped them because I wanted to try to white knuckle it but it was a bad idea. This was truly the worst year in my life so far. I'm trying to turn things around while I'm still young, but holy fuck I have some regrets that are just canceling my vitality. I am planning on trying new meds.