I need help!!! because I feel like I’m either crazy and searching for problems… or I’m missing something. We’ve been together 3 years. I’m 25F, he’s 35M.
My boyfriend is always telling me I’m so beautiful and sexy, but here’s why it confuses me…
Sometimes I’ll be laying down looking like a complete mess. No makeup. Hair all over the place. Oversized shirt. Looking like I rolled out of bed and gave up on life. 😭
And he’ll just come over… and stare at me. Not for like two seconds either. I’m talking a long time. And he’ll just keep saying, “you’re so pretty… you’re so beautiful… how did I get so lucky?” over and over while just staring at me.
Meanwhile in my head I’m like… oh my gosh, does he actually think I look ugly as hell right now and he’s saying that because he feels bad for thinking it? 😭
What’s even more confusing is usually when I actually do my makeup, get dressed up, and feel pretty… he gets all, “where are you going?” or “who are you trying to impress?”
But when I feel like I look absolutely crazy… that’s when he’s all over me, grabbing on me, staring at me, telling me how beautiful I am.
Also… I know he loves that my breasts are big. We’ve actually argued about them because I want a reduction and he doesn’t. He always wants to touch them, play with them, stare at them…
…but we barely have actual sex anymore. I ask why and he’s says he doesn’t want to get me pregnant and he’s focused on grinding and his business(that’s really becoming successful)
And when we do, it honestly feels rushed… like he’s just trying to get through it so he can get to my boobs. He always finishes on my boobs, or sometimes skips sex altogether and just wants boob play.
And before anyone asks…
HE NEVER FINISHES INSIDE ME AND I DON’T WANT HIM TO.
I can’t take birth control due to medical reasons. The hormones put me at extremely high risk of stroke or aneurysm. We can’t use condoms because we’re both allergic, and even the allergy-free ones give me yeast infections. I track my cycles and have never had an issue.
In the beginning of our relationship, the first year or two, we had sex literally almost every day. I’ll take some responsibility too… because he’s very large down there, and sex every day became a lot on my body, so I encouraged boob play…
Now it feels like that’s all he wants.
And it’s not just sex…
Lately I feel like he doesn’t even like me as a person.
He sits in his room with the door shut playing the game, streaming, working out, focused on his business… whatever. I’m not included in anything. Not the gym. Not hobbies. Not quality time. Nothing.
If I ask to spend time together, he acts irritated like I’m asking for too much.
He’s affectionate sometimes… but honestly it doesn’t even feel genuine anymore. It feels like he’s just trying to feel me up, not actually be close to me.
There was even a situation where I jokingly picked up his phone, and he literally jumped out of the shower, refused to let me see what he was texting, then later sent me a screenshot instead. I still feel like stuff got deleted.
He’s also moving to another city soon and says he wants to go alone “for a while”… but every time I try to break up, he talks me out of it.
Last year he literally said word for word:
“Why would I want to go out with someone I’m stuck with?”
He apologized… but honestly his actions still kind of match that energy.
The other day we had a huge fight. I packed my stuff. I literally said, “This is probably why you don’t even want to have sex with me.”
And his response?
“I was going to seduce you today.”
Like… what?? 😭
I feel unwanted, unprioritized, confused, and honestly sometimes used.
So… am I crazy and looking for problems?
Or does this actually sound as off as it feels?
TL;DR: My boyfriend stares at me, calls me beautiful, is obsessed with my boobs, but barely wants actual sex anymore and sometimes skips straight to boob play. I’m not included in his life, he acts irritated when I want time together, hides his phone, wants to move alone, and talks me out of breakups. Am I overthinking… or am I being used?