Hello all.
My purpose of posting on this subreddit is to get some advice on how to get my [25F] relationship with my partner [24M] back to the warm love/what can I do.
(I apologize in advance, I have been trying to keep this post structured, but I feel like my post is everywhere.)
TL;DR : I [25F] am seeking advice to get my boyfriend [24M] back into the groove of sharing warm moments rather than us arguing or him feeling overwhelmed by me. We live together and I want to know how I can be a better and more supportive girl friend. He has mentioned breaking up in the past and I am a tad fearful he may want to again if I pose the question to him instead of here.
We have been together for almost 2 years (in July), and I have started to feel that perhaps my partner is starting to feel more comfortable with saying / acting hurtful towards me. As of recently, he has made jokes about my appearance and has made comments about how I don't let him do anything / have his own space.
The joke about appearances came up a few weeks ago when I had showed him a post about taking pretty girls to a baseball game and he had laughed and stated he'd have to find one to take. While the joke isn't horrible, it was made the day after I had expressed to him my insecurities about my face and body as I recently miscarried and was feeling very unconfident in myself.
We are currently living together and I work a full time job while he works part time (he is at work at most 3 days out of the week). I am usually out of the house from 6:30 am – 5:30 pm and fall asleep super early, around 9 pm, during the week. I hardly have time to message him/call him while at work, so he is usually on his own for most of the day. When I'm back from work, I was always excited to see and talk with him, however, he has stated that because of this he does not have time for himself and has gotten upset at me for wanting to watch TV with him as he likes to unwind online with his friends or to smoke outside.
I feel like I have done a good job at no longer asking him to spend much time with me, especially when he is on the game with his friends. However, I do feel bad that I have caused him to feel a bit of ill feelings towards me as I have asked fir his attention in the past.
I am hoping to see if anyone else has dealt with a similar issue and what has worked with them? I have tried talking with my partner about what I can do to help him feel more comfortable and he will usually say nothing is wrong and I don't need to change anything about the situation. I feel nervous as he has brought up wanting to end things with me before when I have asked for his input and do not want to deal with the emotions of hearing that again. I apologize if I am ranting more than asking for advice. I am just feeling stuck.