So my best friend, we'll call her Lilly, has been on an off with this guy, we will call him Chase, for almost 6 years. When Chase and Lilly first got together, she was 16 and he was 20, and she trauma bonded to him like no other.
I don't think I could even put into words all of the nasty things he has said/done to her (Cheating, lying, name calling, manipulating, using, to name only a few). Like if she told me he started a genocide, I would believe her. Chase and Lilly have broken up and gotten back together at LEAST 5 times. And every time I have to hear about it.
In the past when they have gotten "back together" I have distanced myself from Lilly. Because I don't like how he treats her, I don't like how she starts to act, and I'm not going to put myself in their drama. But Lilly and I live together now… So I don't have the easy option of truly distancing myself.
Last time they broke up was June of 25' and they started talking again a month or two ago. She would go off to his city, lie to me about the reason, and go and see him. Went to a concert (I didn't go) and she brought him to her (shared) hotel. Then a few weeks ago, he came into our home at 9 pm, she didn't tell me, I thought we were getting robbed. Just stupid shit like that where I am being lied to, disrespected, and she's trying to manipulate me about it. These storied could go on.
But as I see him starting to creep back into her life again, I want no part of it. Me, our friends, her therapist, her parents, my parents, have all told her a thousand times to get rid of his deadbeat ass. I don't even want to think about all of the energy I have wasted on trying to get it through her head that she shouldn't be in that situation and it clearly is a waste of time.
Do I cut her off, do I ignore it, do I keep trying to tell her to get rid of him?
I wish I had the room and time to elaborate on how much of a POS this guy is. I really have no sympathy for Lilly anymore.
TL;DR My best friend has been on and off with the devil for 6 years. I have tried to get her to stop going back to him, but it's a lost cause. What do I do?