Hello. I’m posting this because we genuinely don’t know what to do or think at the moment and need some advice. Using fake names for all in case anyone we know finds this.
My brother Darren and I think that our partners are cheating on us with each other. I’ve been dating my boyfriend Cole for a year now and my brother recently started dating Sage about a month ago. We still live with our mom as I still go to school and my older brother helps with bills and our younger brother. We just feel it’s better this way especially after everything we’ve been through recently as a family but that’s a whole different story.
Cole moved in with us at the end of November/ beginning of December last year. It started just as him staying over on weekends then his stays just got progressively longer and he eventually just started staying over every night. He’s currently also in school but online and he helps around the house with cleaning and cooking and that kind of stuff. He’s very good with my younger brother and they have a brotherly bond as well.
Sage has been staying over for the past like three or four weeks shortly after my brother and her started dating. She took some time off work to come stay over for a few weeks (I wasn’t given the exact amount of time), she lives more than 3 hours away. She is a nice girl, super easy to talk and joke around with. My boyfriend and I were honestly a little startled by how outgoing she is since we are a little more shy and are introverts lmao. She’s already met our extended family as well and she fits right in with us and everyone adores her.
Now onto the main topic. When Sage first came over we were all told by my mom to come and make her feel welcomed and comfortable so we were out in the living room or kitchen most of the week playing games and having fun when we aren’t at school/work. Over the first week we have gotten more comfortable with her including my boyfriend. She and my boyfriend have been the only ones home alone when everyone else was at work or school. One night when I woke up in the middle of the night and Cole wasn’t in bed and didn’t come back for a while. I didn’t think anything of it and went back to bed after a while and the next day the four of us were in the living room together, Darren and Sage, and Cole and I. We were all talking and joking around and I brought up the fact that he was gone for a while and where he went last night. He claimed he just went to the bathroom but then Darren also asked Sage the same thing. They were both gone for long periods of time that night. Sage looked at Darren and laughed and apologized and said she got a call from her friend and went outside to talk to her in the car. She then said to Darren “I’ll let you know next time if she calls again.” We moved on after that.
The next thing that happened that has made us truly question things was this morning when I was dropping my younger brother off for school. He said that if Cole and I could keep it down when we’re “doing it” because he couldn’t really sleep last night. He went on all about how he didn’t need to hear his older sister “getting some” and wished we didn’t share a wall. Now, this would’ve been a valid concern if it was me. But it wasn’t. I went to my cousins house to hang out for the evening and didn’t come home until about 2 am. Cole and I didn’t do anything. He was already sleeping by the time I came back. Also, Cole and I are always, ALWAYS mindful about the fact that my younger brother’s room is on the other side of the wall. So, who was my boyfriend screwing in MY own bed when I wasn’t there? Well, after he voiced his disgust I just said “okay yeah, sorry about that. It won’t happen again” and dropped him off at school. I immediately texted Darren and asked him if Sage left any time during the night and he said at about midnight she went to go talk with her friend again. I told Darren about what our little brother told me and Darren said we’d talk about it after work/school. So we went about the day today and when we came home, I went to Darren’s car and we talked for a long time. Darren told me that Sage had been “talking to her friend” almost every night. We compared every little thing that we might’ve brushed off as nothing, but then it all clicked (or so we think). These are the two bigger incidents that happened but there are more. We need advice or an outside perspective on these incidents and what we should do. Does this sound like cheating? Or are we just overthinking idiots with trust issues? Lol
Cole has never given me any reason to suspect he would cheat. He’s super against it actually and has no girls on his phone or anything. He’s an introvert, only has a few friends and even they keep joking about how Cole pulled off even getting a girl (me) to talk to him from how quiet and awkward he is. And Sage just doesn’t seem like the type to do that sort of thing.
Advice? I can include other incidents that make us think that this is what’s happening if anyone needs more info on it.
TLDR; me and my brother’s partners keep leaving in the middle of the night and we think they are hooking up.