my husband and i have been together for about 5 years. i'm originally from the midwest but moved to NYC, and then met him in jersey. i moved in with him during covid and our relationship has progressed since then…we now live in his hometown where he grew up, in jersey with our two boys.
we've hopped around quite a bit since being married (albeit, suburb towns, never back to the city). when we bought our first house in his hometown, it was kind of rushed, we had just had our second kid and felt the need to get a bigger space and closer to his family for help. we only get help on weekends, as my inlaws still work, and i'm a sahm fulltime after losing my job right after we moved to this house.
the house ended up being in the most isolating area for me and my kids. it's one of those towns where things are generally pretty old, not much community, very rural, etc. we're about 40 min from the beach, 50 min from philly, 2+ hours from NYC. i try to do as much with my kids as possible, but every week it's kind of on repeat and i feel like i'm failing my kids for not giving them more enriching experiences. i always have the creeping thought that if we lived in a more vibrant area, this wouldn't be affecting me as much as it does. i'm a big city person, have lived in cities since graduating high school so moving somewhere so incredibly rural for help with the kids only on weekends is a hard thing for me to deal with.
i've been in a hole since moving here and becoming a sahm to my 2 boys (one and five). i've started looking for jobs (in the city, as that's where my line of work is (tech)). i've voiced this many times to my husband, and he's incredibly reluctant for me to work in the city, and move our kids to a city area. he's pretty adamant on me trying to look for more remote work, as his friends (he calls them our friends) are here, his fam is here, it'd be too much of a tradeoff. he's a pretty big suburb person, and it's really starting to show now that i'm starting to apply and interview for jobs, in the city. i've yet to receive an offer for a job because the market is a shithole right now, but the thought of improving our kid's lives and regaining sense of self back. it's a really tough situation and i'm not sure how to go about it. so i ask the internet of course.
has anyone been in this situation? any advice here?