I’m in a sexless marriage, and I miss feeling desired. How do I cope with the rejection without becoming bitter?
Okay… this is my first ever post. Bear with me through this.
We’ve been married for 16+ years. I can probably count the number of times we have had sex over this period. As someone who loves intimacy, is constantly looking to physical touch and affection, I feel broken and sad for myself.
I’m 43, fitter than I have ever been, more patient and understanding than ever over the course of our relationship… and yet, he’s always “bored” by my presence. He said he’s not able, not in the mood, or “soon… not now”. In the times I attempted to initiate and make it happen, he would lose “interest” midway through.
I feel so sad for myself… I don’t like looking at it this way, but let’s be honest… he married me as a virgin and I’ve never even had an orgasm (outside of touching myself, and finding desperate relief). I feel like such a desperate and slutty whore, but what can I do? I’m human. It’s not just constantly feeling horny…. I just want him to want me and “love me”. I’m a girl and I have needs that are completely unmet.
When I attempted to keep myself busy and focused outside of the “begging” for sexual attention I really want, and instead put all my energy into work, guess what? it backfired. He spent an entire summer having sex with a colleague. How did it suddenly work then? What is wrong with me?
I’m attractive, I’m adventurous in bed… I’ll do anything. I’m a fun girl! I’ve never said no to new things, and I’ve absolutely given him every part of my body to do whatever he wants to do, however he wants to do it. I don’t know how else to say this… honestly I just want to get fucked so bad. I’m honestly so horny and desperate. It’s really embarrassing!
When I found out about the cheating and brought it up to him, he was so ashamed and broken. Of course I was sad and depressed, but I was also embarrassed for myself. What am I doing wrong? Why her and not me.
I’m so sad to say that I became even more desperate for sex. I want it more than I ever have. How shameful is it that at almost 44, I’m still always horny, still waiting, still wanting, always wet… just thinking about it makes me sad for myself.
Now his shame has lead him to depression. I hate myself for being so desperate and sounding like such a depraved whore. I hate myself for posting this. But I really want help… I just want a happy marriage, a robust sex life… and I just want him to fuck me every night. And honestly, as hard as possible… I want him to fuck the heartbreak out of me… the sadness and emptiness.
I want him to erase it.
I’ll do anything for the attention from him.
Please help me.