I (26M) have been talking to this girl (26F) for around 3 months now and honestly this is the first time I’ve connected with someone this deeply.
We matched online, started texting daily, then calls became longer and longer (sometimes 2-3 hours almost every day). We finally met recently and spent almost 2 days together. We walked around the city, had food, shared music, cuddled the whole night, opened up emotionally, etc. It genuinely felt very special to me because I’ve never experienced romantic or physical intimacy before.
Here’s where I’m conflicted.
She’s much more experienced than me. She has had 2 serious long-term relationships and a couple of casual sexual experiences. She’s also gone on a lot of dates over the last few years. Sometimes she openly shares stories about past guys, dates, hookups, cuddling, sexual preferences, etc. She says she’s just being honest and open with me.
The issue is: every time I hear certain details, I feel slightly less attracted for a day or two. Not because I think she’s a bad person or because I think casual relationships are morally wrong. Honestly, if my life circumstances were different, I probably would’ve explored casually too.
But because I’m inexperienced, moments like cuddling, emotional intimacy, physical closeness, etc., carry a LOT of emotional weight for me. So when I hear that she casually cuddled other guys or hooked up with people she only briefly dated, my brain starts feeling like something that felt deeply special and unique to me maybe wasn’t equally special to her.
At the same time, I genuinely feel warmth and peace imagining a future with her. We’ve discussed future, marriage, kids, money, living together, etc. She has also told me she’s scared of losing me.
But I’m confused whether:
- I’m just emotionally overwhelmed because this is my first deep romantic connection OR
- we actually have a mismatch in how we emotionally view intimacy/relationships
Would appreciate honest opinions, especially from people who’ve been in similar situations.