We've been together for almost 5 years now (June 2nd is our 5th), and we have discussed marriage and the future together throughout the years. But now that he's just graduated from university (I'm 28F and have been working full time for 3-4 years), I finally decided to bring up the topic again. As a girl, I know I'm being selfish in just wanting to have the title of being a fiance, but at the same time I know that I definitely have this fear that he will just leave me in the end if we don't get engaged.
We finally had a constructive discussion about all this and his standard (he says) or his plan, is that he wants to move in with me first for maybe around 6 months (I asked him for a timeline) then he will really be more considered to propose. He thinks that he needs to be financially stable first before popping the question – which okay I respect that, but at the same time – doesn't the engagement / proposal not cost much? Correct me if I'm wrong.
It's been rough these couple of weeks in my head, like he tells me constantly that him telling me that he has this plan is his way of showing me that he is committed to this relationship and wants to propose one day and have a future together as a family, with kids and all. Basically he just believes that we should really "know" how each other are once under the same roof before making the next step – which I understand. Am I being selfish for asking for an engagement? Or is he being realistic?