Okay. So my bf(32m) and I(31f) are together now since February this year.
He‘s a chill guy and I really love every aspect of our relationship. We don’t argue, but set healthy boundaries both of us respect.
So no actual trouble. But since the beginning I noticed that my sex drive is a lot higher than his.
He told me in the beginning that he needs connection to people to actually feel attracted to them. So we talked a lot and opened up to each other and I gave the whole situation time. And we had amazing sex. Breathtaking literally.
But after we gave this situation the name „relationship“ our sex life dried out completely.
We‘re together since February. Knew each other since November last year and had a thing going on since January this year. And I can count on one hand how often we were intimate.
While I could basically jump him 24/7, he only seldom is in the mood. I knew it and I asked him about it. If there is anything wrong or if I should change something, do something. Talked about hygiene etc. From his side, nothing‘s wrong.
And I don’t want to force myself onto him. But every time I make just the slightest move he lets me know that he‘s not up for sex, or that he has an injury and so on. And I respect that. A LOT.
But I can feel how insecure it makes me. It makes me worry that I‘m not pretty or sexy enough. That my „game“ is bad and he actually doesn’t find me attractive and just wants literally ANYONE around him.
He doesn’t have any stress at work or private at all. Like I mentioned before: he‘s super chill.
He doesn’t take drugs, no alcohol not even meat.
I thought „hey, maybe he‘s asexual. You could work with that.“, but no. We talked about how much sex he had in his past relationships, even with his exes after they broke up.
And we talked about my higher drive and he suggested that I could masturbate. It wouldn‘t be an issue for him. But it‘s not the same than being intimate with the man I love.
What else could it be, that I hadn’t considered?
Is it me? What else could I do?