I (M23) was seeing someone (F23) for about a month, and we really hit it off. Met her at a bar and stayed over, and then since then we went to 2 concerts, 2 dinners, and a Mets game. We texted every day and FaceTimed twice in between the third and fourth date. She also said she wanted to take it slow with intimacy, so we were ramping it up each date. On the 4th date we talked about if we were seeing anyone (I brought it up) and we both said we weren’t. That was that. The last date we had included dinner, me sleeping there, and then stayed til 7:30pm the next day. Everything felt like things were going great.
After that last date, she went to a comedy show with her friends, and then went to a bar after that. She didn’t text me which felt abnormal, but it was fine. She then got dry over the next 2 days. We had plans to see each other that Friday so I asked about when I should make the reservation, and she sent me a paragraph saying she wasn’t ready for a relationship. She told me the “exclusive” conversation made her realize the realness of everything. She said she really liked me, that I’m a genuine good guy that she doesn’t want to lose, but she didn’t want to hurt me if she wasn’t ready to fully commit the way I was with her. So I asked about what happened at the bar, where she said she nothing actually happened, she caught herself talking to other guys and knew if she was going to be in a committed relationship she wouldn’t be able to do that, and said she wasn’t ready to close herself off.
I gave her a few days to think about it but she wrote back saying nothing changed. She said I treated her better than any guy has in her life, and that I deserve to treat someone else that knows what they want the way I treated her. She never told me why she wasn’t ready, but she moved into the NYC 2 months ago and so I have to assume she didn’t want to be in a committed relationship with when she moved in. She specifically told me that I came into her life unexpectedly and that she wasn’t prepared to be in a relationship yet, and didn’t know what to do. She told me “I’m worried I’ll wake up one day and regret letting you go.” I told her I wasn’t willing to wait around so we pretty much said our goodbyes for the time being. She said she wanted to be friends, told me I should let her know whenever I’m in her area so we could meet up again, and that she’d still be interested in going to a concert we planned to go to in August. Our last goodbyes to each other was to “have a good season” since we didn’t know when we’d see each other again.
Basically I’m not sure what to do. I feel like she’s telling the truth that she’s not ready, but part of me does think she is soft rejecting me. I want to reach out the next time I go to the city, but since it’s been a week now and we haven’t talked it feels like she doesn’t have any interest in wanting to meet up again and was just being nice. Let me know what you guys think.
TL;DR
Saw someone for a month, 5 long dates. Talked about seeing other people on the 4th, and it apparently scared her off. Now she wants to be friends. Should I move on or reach out in the near future to try again.