I’ve been reflecting lately on how much of "adulting" is actually gatekept by having a solid social circle, and I wanted to see if anyone else feels like they are falling behind because they lack a support system.
We often talk about the emotional toll of being lonely, but we don't talk enough about the logistical and developmental delays that come with it. When you don’t have a consistent group of friends or a social "safety net," it feels like the rest of your life gets put on pause.
So many milestones like traveling, trying new hobbies, going to concerts, or even just checking out a new restaurant often feel "locked" because doing them solo can be intimidating or less accessible. And doing them alone repeatedly over time gets really sad. Over time, it feels like you have fewer stories to tell and less "life experience" than peers who are out doing things in groups
So much of professional success is "who you know." Without a social circle to practice soft skills, small talk, and networking, the transition into higher-level professional roles feels way more daunting. It’s hard to be "on" at work when you’re "off" everywhere else.
It’s much harder (and more expensive) to move out or find a new apartment without friends to roommate with or help with the transition. It keeps you tethered to your current living situation longer than you might want.
Additionally, social skills are a muscle. When you aren't using them, they atrophy. This makes the "launch" into full adulthood feel like you're constantly playing catch-up with people who seem to navigate the world with a confidence that only comes from being part of a community.
It feels like a Catch-22: you need social skills to make friends, but you need friends to provide the experiences that build social skills and confidence.
For those who have been through a "lonely stretch," in their 20s, did you feel like your "real life" was on standby? How did you start making moves to catch up, even if you were doing it alone?
Edit: Why do i feel like 50% of the people on this sub are AI 😭