My girlfriend and I have been on and off for almost 4 years now, throughout all of high school, she's always been there for me, supporting me through the multitude of hardships I've been through. There is no other way to put it, she's my rock, and I've been losing my mind thinking about what I'm gonna do without her. I'm moving away to Europe for college while she remains in the United States. For these 4 years, she's always been a constant for me; she's also my neighbor, and we have spent so much time together, usually not going more than 2 days without seeing each other. When we met, we were so different, but she has always stuck with me regardless of my personal change, whether it negatively impacted her or not. I've traveled thousands of miles to her home country with her, sleeping skin to skin and embracing her for hours. I've never experienced that level of intimacy before, and I never want to with anyone that isn't her. I consider myself an emotional guy, but this level of ugly crying exceeds any low I have previously reached. The amount of selflessness she has is something I admire. No matter what, she would drop everything to be there for me and I am so scared I'm never gonna find that in someone again. I don't want to find that in someone again. I feel like I met my person, and I am gonna be so far away from her, and it's destroying me. This relationship hasn't been perfect, arguing and breaking up, but always working things out and finding our way back to each other. She is my home, and it feels like I'm being involuntarily evicted. I paid my rent, and I want to stay, but I can't. Different time zones and countries with different vacation schedules make this situation almost impossible, and it's putting so much strain on us. During one of our periods of not being together, I met a new girl, and she hated Frank Ocean. Some of my most fond memories of being with her is listening to Frank Ocean together and hearing this new girl say this brought me back to her doorstep, ugly crying about how much I miss her and how I could never understand how someone couldn't like Frank Ocean. That's the type of impact my time with this girl has had on me, I'm gonna make the most of the remaining summer we have together, but saying goodbye might scar me inside. I apologize if this is unintelligible or incoherent. I'm just writing down my feelings in the moment because I have become overwhelmed.
TL;DR I am gonna miss her so much