So i may be in my 40s but this situation makes me feel like I’m right back in high school. I have a friend that I’ve known for about 35 years. When I was in 2nd grade we moved into a smallish neighborhood. I met some friends, but specifically to this post, a girl that lived a few houses away, and we became pretty good friends. We rode the same bus, had some classes together, it was a great friendship. Middle school I started having stronger feelings for her, but was very unconfident in that whole aspect of life. Freshman year of HS she had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend. She had broken up with her boyfriend and had another before I broke up with my girlfriend. I didn’t have another girlfriend until senior year. I was kinda waiting her relationship out. But she stayed in that relationship through the end of high school. At this point she pretty much knew how i felt about her, through conversations and such. During senior year I got another girlfriend as I had decided it was time to move on, I completely disconnected as I didnt know how else to handle my feelings and I eventually married this new girlfriend and have now been married for 20 years. My friend got married after college to a different guy than the high school boyfriend and is still married to him. We both have families and seemingly happy lives. A few years ago we reconnected as we now happen to work at the same factory. We talk for a few minutes to a half hour each day. We even joke about if it hadn’t been for that guy in high school we might be together… My problem now is, all those feelings I suppressed in high school have creeped back up and I find myself thinking about her more and more. Thinking about the missed opportunities in high school, and all that. I need to move on but I don’t know how. I don’t want to cut her out of my life again but I can’t spend everyday thinking about her either. We don’t have a time when we can talk without ears listening but I feel like a letter is to “high schoolish” I feel like if I could get the closure I may be able to move on. But I’m afraid it will ultimately end our friendship again. How do I tell her?