Over the last few years ive taken my level of socialisation from absolute rock bottom to lets say somewhat bellow sea level, all that to say im not doing as bad as i used to , but something ive noticed very recently has started to bother me.
I am a follower ,
To be more accurate by what i mean by that is that once i get into a comfortable space where i get any social enteraction whatsoever i allow myself to be passive and not try to expand the levels of social enteraction im getting unless it comes from what im following.
For example , a year or two ago i was really damn lonely and trying to be more social i joined a few game servers on discord , in one of them i hit it off with a chap and added him as a friend , a couple weeks later im at an appointment in a waiting room and then i get a message from the same chap i added asking if id like to join his server, so i do that and i find that i enjoy being on that server . On that server i got a lot more social enteraction than i usually would and i allowed myself to get complaicent about looking for social enteraction.
Another example , i found a job and at this job i met a guy who i actually sort of knew , id seen him around at the school i attended and even at my gym . So i made friends with him , perticularly because he spoke english (we live in a non english country), so i was able to comunicate with him better than ny other coworkers.
So me and this guy become friends and after a bit i actually meet some of his friends and i became friends with one of them and a bit with others .
After finding these few freinds i felt like i was flourishing socially but i realised that whenever i do expand my social enteraction its never really through doing it myself and meeting people id like to meet , its always people i meet through other reasons like my job or a friend of a friend sort of situation. If it werent for those id still be at the same stage i was at not so long ago. And i realised that if i were to stop relying on these ways of putting myself in social situations id still be as asocial as i was recenly which isnt something i want .
Id like to ask for advice on how to do things myself , i have issues with getting any motivation to enteract with anyone honestly, thats onr of my biggest handicaps with socialising , but id like to overcome my issues and be more social independantly .
Any advice?