I (F26) am turning 27 here soon, and found some inspiration for a 27 Dresses themed party which may end up being a bar crawl. The idea was to invite a group of friends (girls for sure, guys I’m iffy on) to wear silly dresses they would never typically wear (like a “Nowhere to Wear it” vibe) and look goofy as a group and get drunk. Our group lives in a red city in the south, so I understand the hesitancy any guys could feel being asked if they would be down to not GAF, thrift a dress and wear it to a house party or on a bar crawl. This group has a mix of political backgrounds, where certain people I fully expect to say WTF no thanks.
Backstory, I personally love, envy, and yearn for the carefree vibes that people sometimes carry in bigger cities, wearing whatever they want and dressing to the occasion for the fun of it. I love and envy the same vibes that can be found in friend groups that all dress as Guy Fieri, for example, and hit the town, purely not GAF. When I found this theme idea, it reminded me of the Red Dress Run that happens in New Orleans every year, where EVERYONE throws on a red dress to participate in the race/downtown drinking. My husband (M27) and I have always stated we would love to go for the event someday, but that has yet to happen.
I shared the party idea with my husband, but he got upset that I didn’t consult him on how he would feel being asked to potentially wear a dress, and the position that I put him in to make him feel like the villain to say no to my birthday theme idea. I completely understand boundaries regarding it, and truly tried considering and predicting his comfortability while brainstorming the potential plans. Keeping in mind the Red Dress Run stance, I guess I thought part of him wouldn’t GAF and would lean into it for my birthday/excitement. I’m feeling a little bummed I guess from the hopes I had in mind (and maybe overall FOMO of those carefree city vibes), and ultimately want to know this:
If your partner asked you this, how would you feel?
Would you be uncomfortable?
Would you dress up but only if all other guys did?
Would you not care at all and dress up with your partner, regardless of who else did?
What are your boundaries in these situations?
If anyone can think of parallel or flipped scenarios, I would love to hear them as well (I can’t currently think of one where I personally wouldn’t want to put effort/desired vibes into something my husband was excited about, but I’m sure I’m just tunnel vision on this right now).
I ask this with sincerity, so please be kind <3
I understand my bummed feelings might be from subconsciously projecting my hopes and FOMO onto my husband and this party idea (does that make sense?). Maybe I just need a nap and a new idea.
Apologies in advance for improper sentence structuring 🙂
Edit: when I refer to guys wearing a dress, I imagine finding a silly thrifted one and they throw it on like a top over a pair of shorts and whatever sneakers they wear. I think googling pictures of men in the streets at NOLA’s red dress run is the best example of what I had in mind. But the difference is this would just be a smaller group rather than a whole city of participants.